


Take The Long Way Home

by dadsBBQparty



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game), Heavy Rain
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Break Up, Drug Use, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2018-07-19
Packaged: 2019-06-12 19:03:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15346503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dadsBBQparty/pseuds/dadsBBQparty
Summary: “I don't want anything bad to happen to you,” Norman tells him. There's worry in his eyes.“But that's life,” Connor replies. Bad things happen to everyone, no matter how hard you avoid it.-------Reverse AU that goes into Connor's life that goes before the deviancy case and to the end of it.





	Take The Long Way Home

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't originally going to post this, but Liza told me to lol. It's my take on the reverse AU. Connor's the human and Hank is the android. A lot of it really goes away from the canon, and it kind of becomes a different story. I spent a lot of time on it, and I hope everyone enjoys it.
> 
> Also, I apologize if it sometimes gets choppy. I had so many ideas, and I probably missed some stuff when editing.

The first time Connor sees his new home, he's no older than eight. His hands tremble as he sets his bags down on the hardwood floor near the door. The house is big. Not the biggest house he's seen, but it’s the biggest house he lived in. It seems new- he recalls hearing something on the car ride home that it was built for his family. He doesn't remember the conversation word for word. Too much is going on in his head. 

“Are you okay?” 

He looks up and his heart throbs. The man in front of him is his father- one of them. They tell him he doesn't need to ever call them his fathers or parents for that matter- just Norman and Ethan. He takes his small hand in his much larger one, looking at him with his green eyes behind his oversized glasses. Connor thinks they look goofy, but he's too nervous to say anything about them. 

“Yeah,” he whispers, looking away from him. 

The man’s name is Norman. He sighs and pulls Connor into a hug- it's unlike any he's felt before. It's warm, and tight, and caring, and the small gesture is filled with more love than he's ever known. 

“You don't need to ever lie to me,” he tells Connor softly as the boy buries his face in his shoulder. “I'm not going to get mad at you for your feelings. You can tell me the truth.” 

Connor exhales. 

“I'm not okay,” he admits. Ethan’s finished with bringing luggage inside and joins Norman’s side, placing a hand on Connor’s side. He wants to ask him what happened to his pinky, but he doesn't want to upset them. “I don't want you to leave me now, and I feel like you're gonna…” 

Norman laughs softly, letting go of Connor to look at him. His eyes show anything but dismissal. Connor reminds himself that Norman cares. He can tell just by the way he looks at him. 

“You better not leave us, because you're stuck with us now, y’hear me?” he says softly. Connor laughs quietly. 

“Your voice is weird,” he tells him softly, unsure of what else to say to him.

Ethan stifles a laugh, bringing his hand to his mouth. He doesn't talk as much as Norman, but Connor knows he cares too. They look at each other, and Norman’s smile grows. He stands up, taking Connor’s hand. 

“I'll show ya to your room,” he says, taking one of the bags. Connor squeezes his hand, following him up the stairs. 

Connor remembers the first night he met Shaun. He's six years older than him, but knowing he's not the only kid in the house brings him comfort. It's his third day in the Jayden-Mars home when Shaun’s mom brings him back. 

Shaun’s not the tallest fourteen year old he's met. He's also not the most talkative. He reserves his words. He never wastes them. Connor notices when he says something, it's always well thought out. A contrast to him. 

Connor’s showing him pictures from a book. He's pointing at one of the characters and telling Shaun why he's his favorite when Norman interrupts them. 

“It's getting late. Shaun, can ya help Connor get to bed?” he asks, picking up one of the toys Connor left out. Norman's a clean person, but he doesn't complain. He seems to actually enjoy cleaning up after people. 

Shaun nods, and the two of them go upstairs. They brush their teeth, comb their hair. Connor sees Shaun washing his face, so he decides to do the same thing. Shaun smiles and helps him clean up the mess he made with the water when he's finished. It makes Connor grin. 

When Connor’s in his pajamas, Shaun takes him to his room to tuck him into bed. His room was at the end of the hallway, next to the other boy’s. 

“Shaun,” Connor whispers as the older boy finishes reading to him. He looks at him with curious eyes, fearing rejection. “Can I sleep in your room?” 

“Why?” Shaun asks. 

“I haven't had my own room before,” Connor whispers. He wanted to tell Norman and Ethan, but he doesn't want them to think he's ungrateful for it. Most kids are happy to have their own room. “It makes me… lonely.” 

“Yeah,” Shaun says. “Until you get used to having your own room.” 

Connor smiles as Shaun stands up to find the sleeping bag. He rushes to join him. He's excited to spend time with the boy he can actually call his older brother. 

Time goes on. 

Connor and Shaun share a room. His older brother’s sixteen, but he stills lets it happen. He doesn't complain much, unless one of Connor’s toys ends up in his bed. He has a large collection of Nerf guns. His dads don't like the idea of having them in the house, but many of them were gifts that would have been too awkward to exchange. Connor can't see why Norman doesn't like them- he has a gun of his own. He can tell by his face that he's upset when Connor plays cop. 

It's his tenth birthday. He's been with them over a year and a half. The first few months were hard, but now he's happy to see his dads every morning. Ethan’s talkative in the morning, while Norman’s always quiet. It's the time where their roles shift. Ethan’s usually the one who takes care of Connor in the morning. Norman leaves for work before seven, and Shaun’s school starts an hour before Connor’s does. Ethan works from home, though. Each morning, he has breakfast prepared and ready on the table. He chooses his words carefully. Connor blabs at him, but he's happy to listen. 

Norman's the opposite of Ethan. He's not a morning person, but he can handle just about every other time of the day. He makes dinner almost every night- unless Shaun does. He always pulls Connor into the kitchen with him, making him taste things to tell him if it's okay. Connor thinks it's nice to talk to him- he never runs out of words even though he doesn't save any. 

This morning, it was Shaun who woke him up. They shared a bunk bed, and Connor had the top bunk. His brother nudged him awake and whispered, “It's ten AM. Dad told me to wake you up.” Shaun calls Ethan ‘dad.’ Norman’s always Norman to Shaun. Shaun has a different family too. His mom’s named Grace. Connor’s sometimes jealous that his brother has more than he does, but he tells himself that's okay. 

Connor yawn and sits up. He stretches before climbing down the ladder. He's grown a lot, and Shaun keeps joking that he's going to be a lot taller than him. 

He runs downstairs, bumping into Ethan on the way down. 

“Dad, you're in my way,” he sighs. Ethan grins down at him before pointing him towards the kitchen, which he decides he's going to dash into. 

Norman’s cooking. He's making pancakes- they're Connor’s favorite breakfast. His face lights up when he sees him. 

“Hey,” he says happily, turning off the burners for the stove. “Good morning.” 

Connor sees something on the counter. It's orange, and it's sitting on one of the plates. Without thinking, he grabs it and puts it in his mouth. 

Norman looks over at him and groans as he bites into it. It tastes like wax. 

“That's a candle,” he grumbles as Connor spits it into his hands. He hands it back, and his father shakes it head as he rinses it off in the sink. “I love you, birthday boy, but you're disgusting,” he says with a laugh. “Stop putting everything in your mouth. You're ten!” 

Connor laughs and shakes his head. “I'll keep doing it until I'm one hundred,” he reassures him. It worries Norman, because he thinks it's true. 

The four of them eat together. Norman has a cat. Connor makes a point of saying it’s Norman’s cat, because she doesn't really like anyone else. She's a demanding cat, and she's older than Connor is. She jumps on the table, hissing as Norman knocks her back down on the ground. Connor likes her, but she sure doesn't like anyone else. He wants a dog. So does Shaun. The issue is that Norman’s far too allergic. He sneezes if a dog passes him on the sidewalk. 

Ethan’s more quiet than usual, and Shaun is too. Norman’s still talkative, but he's not engaging Ethan as much as he usually does. They're holding hands as they eat. 

“Dad, are you okay?” Connor finally asks, furrowing his brow. He can't normally tell when there's an issue, but this is glaring in front of him. 

“I'm fine,” Ethan tells him with a smile. He can tell Norman’s upset, and he knows it's because he doesn't like when people in the family lie about their feelings. 

When Connor’s thirteen, Shaun leaves for college. Quiet isn't the right word. It’s quiet when Shaun’s there. It just feels… different. 

Connor’s sitting with Norman on the couch. They've been watching Star Trek: The Next Generation together. It's one of his dad’s favorite shows, and Connor’s entertained by it. His favorite is Data. He could relate to the android’s awkward personality. He's nurturing and caring, but he can't always find the ways to show it. Connor feels robotic sometimes, and it makes it hard to make friends. 

“I think I could be friends with an android,” he tells him. Norman’s running his hand through his hair. He always does that- he's protective and possessive. Connor doesn't mind. It's good to be reminded how much his dad cares about him. 

“I think anyone would be lucky to be your friend,” Norman replies softly. 

Connor frowns, resting his head on his dad’s shoulder. 

“I really miss Shaun,” he says. 

“He'll be home soon,” Norman replies. “I miss him too. We'll visit him next week.” 

Connor looks over at him. Norman’s obviously aged since he met him. He's only forty, but his hair is greying. Somehow, he looks older than Ethan does despite being four years younger. He grabs his dad’s hand, squeezing it tightly. 

“You can’t leave me,” he says. Norman exhales deeply, closing his eyes and pulling Connor into an embrace. 

“Shaun hasn't left you. He misses you a lot. Just be patient, honey,” he tells him. 

High school sucks. He has a few friends, but they're just friends. No best friends, no super friends. Although, Connor remembers his first real crush like it was yesterday. He was almost fifteen when he saw the first boy that made his heart swell. 

He was a theater kid. Connor was obnoxiously tall, all legs and nothing else. This boy was a few inches shorter to him. He thought it was cute that he had to look down to see him. His name was Abdul, and Connor remembers writing that name in his planner over and over. 

Ethan was the first person who found out about his crush. A letter falls out of his math notebook when he's helping him, and of course his nosy dad reads it. 

“Abdul, I want to kiss you under the stars,” he repeats. Connor knows he's trying not to snicker, and he feels his cheeks heating up. “Who's this boy?” 

“N-No one…” Connor groans, grabbing the note and ripping it to shreds at the table. 

“Were you gonna tell him?” Ethan asks, flipping to a clean page in his notebook before placing it in front of him. 

“No,” Connor grumbles. “That's why I still have it. He's gonna think it's weird since I'm just this weird boy who stares at him.” 

Ethan frowns. “I won't tell you how to do this, because you're my son, and I don't want you dating until you're out of the house. But I won't say not to do it.” 

Connor wants to smile, but he's too embarrassed. Instead, he just nods. 

He calls Shaun before bed to tell him everything that happened. Shaun laughs, but Connor knows he understands better than anyone. He took the no dating thing to heart, but now he surprisingly has a girlfriend. Ethan likes her, but Norman refuses to give an opinion. Shaun tells him to just not tell Norman that he likes a boy. His dad’s too picky and doesn't like anyone that his kid can bring home. 

Connor ends up working on the play. He's doing the set this time- he didn't think to try out for a part. Just being on the set gives him more time to spend with Abdul. 

Abdul’s the sweetest boy he's ever met. Even though he trips over his words, he stills talks to Connor. He tells him he thinks he's funny. He always clarifies that it's in a good way. 

They hang out a lot at random times. The first time Abdul kisses Connor, he shuts down completely. He can't even kiss him back. He's grateful Abdul is who he is, because not many people would tolerate someone who literally runs away after being kissed. A few days later, Connor comes back to him, returning the kiss with gusto. It was outside of the school doors twenty minutes after the play crew was let go for the night. He wants to grab his hair, but he has none to hold onto. He holds the back of his head as Abdul grabs his hair. Connor laughs into the kiss until he's startled out of it. 

Norman’s honking at them. Connor breaks away, apologizing quickly. Abdul tells him it's okay as he rushes to the car, slipping into the front seat. 

It's quiet. 

Too quiet for Norman. 

Connor reaches to turn on the radio, when Norman pushes his hand away from it. 

“A boyfriend?” he finally says. Connor wants to sink back into the seat and disappear. He starts biting his nails again, pulling the skin enough to make it bleed. Norman’s going to make a comment about that- it's an awful habit he's never been able to break. 

“I-I don't know,” he says sheepishly. 

“And did you not plan on ever telling me?” Norman asks. He sounds hurt, and Connor can't say much. In a perfect world, he wouldn't have told Norman until his wedding day. 

“I… I didn't know he liked me,” Connor whispers, looking out the window. 

“Of course he likes you,” Norman sighs. “You're a very likeable boy.” Eh, Connor disagrees. 

Norman’s calming down. He turns on the radio, making sure the volume is low. It's Ethan’s channel, classic rock. 

“Is he good enough for you?” Norman asks. 

“Yes,” Connor says quietly. 

“Good,” Norman replies. “Stop biting your nails, or I'm gonna spray your fingers with gasoline.”

Norman shows up to every play, even though Connor’s only in the background helping with the sets. He drags Ethan and Shaun along as much as he can. He's not happy that Connor has a boyfriend, but he's used to it finally. No one is ever good enough for Connor in his dad’s eyes. Ethan’s met Abdul, and he's given up on the battle that he's a great ‘kid'. 

He embarrasses Connor with roses after the last performance. Connor makes a point of not introducing him to Abdul- he doesn't want him to make any weird comments. He never tells Abdul that one of his dads is a cop. He doesn't want to freak him out. He's well aware that will be the first thing Norman tells him. His dad knows, but he doesn't do much to change it. He's very involved in Connor’s life, but he steps back when he knows he needs to. 

Norman’s the one that's there for him when Abdul tells him he's moving. It means they're breaking up. Connor doesn't think he's cried so much in his life, but Norman quietly reminds him that's not true. 

Connor falls asleep in Norman’s shoulder, and instead of moving him to his bed, his father resigns to his fate, falling asleep on the couch with him. 

Shaun stops coming home over the summer. Instead, he moves into an apartment with his girlfriend. He's in grad school to get a PHD in Physics, so he's the one who ends up taking over helping with homework as Connor gets further in his math classes. He lives in California for school, so almost all of his conversations with Connor are through the phone now. 

Norman and Ethan tense up when Connor tells them of his college plans. He wants to go to a four year college in Detroit. Norman smiles, but Connor knows he doesn't like the idea. If it was up to him, he'd never move out of the house ever. Ethan doesn't like the idea of him leaving or staying. 

“Connor, you can't go outside to take the trash out at night. You're too startled. How will you handle Detroit?” 

Connor purses his lips. He just shrugs. He's an anxious kid, but he can manage. 

Norman takes him out for dinner when they find out he's accepted at his choice school. It's just the two of them. Connor’s listening as he tells him he's proud, he's happy, but he can hear his voice cracking. 

“You really don't want me to go,” he says. 

“No,” Norman admits. 

In the parking lot, his dad grabs him and hugs him so tightly Connor’s scared he might explode. He's almost the same height as Norman now, taller than both Shaun and Ethan. He closes his eyes and hugs back. 

Connor feels guilty on the day they drive him to college. When he comes downstairs, he sees Norman crying on the couch with Ethan’s arms around him. He doesn't like knowing how sad his fathers are, but he knows they'll be more upset if he decides not to go. 

Norman lingers when they're done unpacking. Everything has to be perfect. He insists on helping Connor put a poster up- Star Trek. 

“I want to make friends,” Connor jokes. 

“Nah, people will be linin’ up at your door,” Norman replies. He looks at Connor before pressing kisses to both his cheeks. His hand lingers on his cheek, and Connor’s staring at his green eyes as he's trying to keep himself from crying. He's going to miss his parents. “I'm comin’ to visit every week,” he insists. 

“He won't,” Ethan reminds him. 

“I will,” Norman argues. “I love ya, Connor. I'm gonna call ya when I get home.” 

“I love you too, papa,” Connor says softly before Norman kisses his cheek again. His father lets go of him and they leave before Connor’s roommate shows up. 

Norman calls him every night. Ethan calls him every other night. Norman keeps insisting it's great. It's nice to have the house to himself. Connor knows it might be partially true, but he's not going to be surprised if he comes back home to ten more cats. 

Only one more cat when he goes home for the first time. He knows it's a battle that Ethan lost. He's three years old, and Norman tells him that he's better at keeping his room clean than Connor ever was. 

Shaun visits him at college a few times every year. He always tries to coordinate it when Norman won't be able to show up randomly, otherwise they won't have time to talk. Shaun’s only twenty-six and engaged to his girlfriend. 

“Papa’s gonna fucking flip when he finds out,” Connor laughs. 

“Yeah. I don't know how to tell them. Mom knows,” Shaun says. “Dad will be fine, but Norman’s going to tell me I'm growing up too fast.” 

“I miss him,” Connor whispers under his breath. Norman can be a pain in the ass sometimes, but he doesn't like not being around him. 

“Me too,” Shaun replies. 

Connor never tells either of his parents he wants to be a detective. Neither of them would think he could handle it. He's drawn to it. He's not the most law abiding person- underaged drinking and the large amount of weed he hid in his room- but it's something he wanted to do. It's been his dream since he first visited Norman in his office. 

His dad was a renowned FBI agent. He could have had an amazing career, promotion after another. He could have traveled. Instead, he stayed in Philadelphia with Ethan. He stayed with the FBI for a year and a half after he met Ethan, traveling from DC to Philadelphia every week. He just gave it all up and requested he stay in Philadelphia. He took his demotion and became just a cop. 

Connor wasn't aware of the circumstances until he was much older. He wouldn't have guessed his father was demoted because he had to go to rehab. He wouldn't have guessed that his parents met because of a case. He also wouldn't have guessed that Norman was paying the consequences for illegally breaking Ethan out of jail when he was detained. 

Even after learning the ugly true, he still wants to be a detective. With a degree in law enforcement, he tries a job with the Detroit police department. It would have been hard, but he was top of his class. It makes it easier to get the job. He makes sure not to tell his parents about the job until he knows for sure. Norman still visits him sporadically, helping him take care of his new apartment. He has one roommate, but he's still looking for another. 

Every visit is awkward. Norman asks what he's been doing since he's done with college, and Connor shrugs. He tells him he has an internship at a place boring enough that Norman won't do research. He says he's just been going to the gym with his roommate and that's why he's sore. He tries to cover up the training. 

He knows Norman knows somethings up, but he doesn't say anything. 

The pressure of Shaun’s wedding distracts from Connor. Norman’s not very happy at first, but the whole family still goes down to California to attend it. It's small, but Shaun’s happy. Even after the angry muttering Norman did all through the car ride, he cries. So does Ethan. 

Connor knows Norman actually likes Shaun’s wife.

It's an open bar, but Connor doesn't like to drink when his family’s around. When it's just Shaun, it's one thing, but Norman lectures him on how to drink safely. 

Grace comes up to him while he's debating if he should down the gin and tonic in his hand. He likes her. She's always been nice to him. She used to let him have sleepovers with Shaun at her house when he got too lonely. He can't imagine many other people in her position would do the same. 

“Do you have anyone right now?” she asks. 

“No,” Connor says with a sheepish smile. 

“Would you ever want to get married?” she questions, looking around the lavish room. She fixes his bowtie gently before her eyes scan him. “You do look good in a suit.” 

Connor laughs softly. “No, I don't think I want to get married…” he admits. 

The job's secure. He's a rookie detective placed under the watch of a cop that's not much older than him, Gavin Reed. He's got a weird sense of humor that Connor finally grows used to. They get along fine. Gavin’s temper can often boil over, but he always makes up for his bad behavior. He's a good cop, and Connor knows he actually cares. 

“I don't like androids,” Gavin says. The two of them are looking at a case file, and one of the androids witnessed the whole thing. They were able to use it as a surveillance camera- it would be helpful until people found out they were able to do this. Gavin has more experience with androids. His brother's the one who invented them. 

“I don't mind them,” Connor says, scribbling something down on his notepad. “I always liked Data from Star Trek.” 

Gavin laughs. “You're comparing real life to Star Trek,” he mumbles. 

His parents comes to visit, and Connor comes clean. He shows Norman his badge, and his heart falls at the reaction as his father runs his hand down it. 

“Why couldn't you have fuckin’ told me, Connor?!” he yells. Connor stares at his face, unable to know how to respond. Norman’s crying again. He hates when he cries- it means he's really upset. “Fuck- Dammit! I say to Ethan, ‘I don't want him to be a cop!’ Ethan says-” 

“Norman, take a deep breath,” Ethan says quickly, putting his hands on Norman’s shoulders. 

“Connor, I don't want you doing what I did!” he exclaims. He's calmed just a bit since Ethan put his hands on him. “I did terrible things- I-I do terrible things as a cop! It fucked up my life! I don't want you to-” 

“It's not about what you want, Norman!” Connor shouts back, startling his parents. 

Norman's not something he's been called since Connor was first adopted. 

It shuts him up immediately. 

Norman swallows a sob and narrows his eyes at Connor. Even with those hideous glasses on, it's still hard to see Norman when he gets mad. He can see why he's a cop. He's downright terrifying when he looks at his ‘suspects'. 

“You're making the biggest mistake of your life,” he tells him before he leaves the apartment, slamming the door after him. 

Connor can count on his hand how many times Norman’s been mad enough to slam a door because of him. 

Gavin’s lease is up. The management changes, and they won't let him continue in the building. Connor tells him about the spare bedroom. They need a new roommate anyways, and it'll give them more time to talk about the case. 

Gavin’s unpacking when Norman comes back to apologize. He grabs Connor and hugs him, and Connor returns the hug. His dad can be unreasonable, but Connor knows he always makes it up to him.

“I don't want anything bad to happen to you,” he tells his son. 

“But that's life,” Connor replies. Bad things happen to everyone, no matter how hard you avoid it. 

Gavin walks into the room as Norman lets go. Connor notices he's excited. Gavin doesn't get excited over much, so it's bizarre to see. 

“Norman Jayden?” he asks. 

“Jayden-Mars,” he corrects as Gavin shakes his hand. 

“I had no idea you were Connor’s dad- The Origami Killer case was what made me want to be a cop,” he tells him quietly. 

“You must have not been older than ten,” Norman says in disbelief, letting go of his hand. Connor knows his dad well enough to know what he's thinking. How can a case like that make anyone want to be a cop?

“N-No, yeah, I was still in fourth grade,” Gavin says. Connor’s never seen him nervous. “But… it was the fact that you went so out of your way to protect a kid you barely knew. I wanted to be like you when I was older.” 

Norman looks at Connor, who shrugs. He smiles slightly at Gavin. It's forced. It's the smile he gives the people who come to him with information. He's always bad at being confronted about cases. “Th-Thank you, but it's not that I barely knew him. His father- I… I'm married to him now.” 

Gavin nods as Connor gets Norman’s attention again. He'll never get used to being the same height as Norman- he always thought that Norman was a giant. “Where is dad?” he asked. 

“He's… sleeping,” Norman answers. “We went shopping, and it wears him out.” He looks at Gavin again. “It was nice to meet you. Connor, I'm going to leave now. We're going out to dinner to celebrate your new job tonight, though.” 

Connor nods as he leaves, looking down at Gavin when the door shuts. 

“Did you mean all that stuff?” he asks. 

“Yeah,” Gavin replies. 

Their other roommate moves out after a while. It's just the two of them left in the apartment. 

It's awkward. Connor knows Gavin likes him. He kind of likes him back, but he doesn't want to ruin anything since they spend so much time together. They're with each other at work, and they're with each other at home. 

It changes one night when they're at home. The confidence of being crossfaded while watching a shitty movie gives Connor the courage to take the leap. He puts his mouth on Gavin’s, and after Gavin kisses him back, he giggles. They start taking clothes off, but fall asleep before anything can happen. 

Their relationship’s strong. Norman disapproves more than he ever has. Something about it rubs him the wrong way, he says. He really doesn't like Gavin. Connor doesn't really care. He's happy with him. 

They've been with each other a year when they finally have some news to share with their families. Connor calls his parents, bracing himself for the conversation. 

“We're going to have a baby,” he tells then reluctantly. 

“With Gavin?” Norman replies quickly. 

“Yeah,” Connor answers. 

Ethan sighs into the phone. He's not typically so disapproving, but it is big news. 

“Connor, you're not even twenty-five yet,” Ethan mumbles. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Connor sighs. He hangs up the phone finally. 

Even after his fits of anger, Norman’s arguably the most excited about the new baby. His name’s Chris. Norman’s retired, so it's hard to get him to leave Detroit. He often insists on just taking care of the baby himself while Connor and Gavin work. They don't really complain about it. 

Connor comes back to the apartment one day. Norman and Ethan are both asleep on the couch with baby Chris. He laughs softly and takes the baby from them, cooing at him softly before he walks him to his crib to let him nap where he won't be interrupted. 

Norman’s awake by the time he gets back to the living room. Connor sits down beside him, resting his head on his shoulder. 

Everything’s going great. Gavin and Connor often stay up at night discussing case files, snickering when they shouldn't. Chris learned how to walk, and it's hard to keep him in his bed now, but Connor couldn't be happier to tuck him in every time. 

There's a big drug bust, and Connor’s the one who figured it out. Gavin’s quiet when Connor’s promoted to lieutenant. 

They don't talk as much anymore, but it's okay, Connor tells himself. Chris is finally starting to talk, and now he's having conversations with his son. They mostly revolve around mac and cheese and cartoons, but it's all he really wants to talk about. 

Norman visits every chance he can. Chris is forming full sentences, and both Connor and Norman think it's adorable. 

“You got lucky,” Norman says softly. “He's the cutest little kid I've ever seen.” 

“Cuter than me?” Connor asks. 

Chris nods. 

He takes Chris to the park twice a week. He loves it. The kid’s more social than either of his parents. He makes tons of friends, and Connor ends up with a lot of phone numbers from parents who want to set up playdates. 

Chris is always excited when another kid comes over. Connor loves when he's happy. It makes his whole week. He can see why Norman would get so upset about small things- he never wants Chris to experience even an inkling of sadness. 

Chris is four when he comes up with a cold. Gavin doesn't say anything to Connor anymore, but even he's worried about this. 

“We need to get him to the ER,” he says quickly. “It's so cold outside. I really hope he doesn't have pneumonia.” 

“He doesn't have pneumonia,” Connor says, holding Chris as he sneezed into his shirt. He's getting heavy, almost too heavy to be picked up, but Connor does it anyways. 

“Let's go-” 

“No,” Connor says firmly. “I'm going to go alone. I don't want you flipping out and making me nervous anymore. It'll be okay- I'll call you when I get there. He's fine.”

Connor wants to believe it will be okay. He comes to at the sound of sirens- he can't recall what hit them. 

Chris is hurt. He's hurt badly. 

The car's flipped, and no matter how hard he tried, he can't get to Chris. He's bleeding and unconscious. 

The ambulance ride to the hospital's the worst thing he's experienced. He holds Chris’ hand and sobs. No one tries to comfort him- it would be futile. People just watch him with their mouths open. 

He needs emergency surgery. An android. That's what's going to be doing the surgery. 

“He's in good hands,” they try to remind him. 

He doesn't call Gavin. When his phone goes off, he lets it ring. 

When they come out to tell him his son didn't make it, he can't even breathe. He knows he's never cried as much as he did when he found out. Norman wouldn't even argue with him about it. 

Gavin doesn't say a fucking word when he shows up at the hospitals. Connor’s sitting still. He hasn't moved an inch since they told him. He feels dry, but the tears keep coming. They just trickle down as he stares at the white wall in front of him. 

Gavin sits down beside him. All he does is put his hand on his knee. There's nothing else to do. His eyes are bloodshot too. 

Connor has to leave during the funeral. He hasn't been able to talk to his family since he lost Chris. Gavin was the one who called them. It wasn't any easier for him to do it, but it wouldn't have been done otherwise. 

His parents follow him outside. Norman doesn't say anything as he pulls out a cigarette. Instead, he helps him light it. He's an ex smoker, Connor remembers. He must have relapsed after he heard the news. 

His parents are trying to keep it together, but he knows they're not. Ethan already lost a son- he also almost lost Shaun. Now he lost his grandchild. 

Ethan has a flask. He thinks he's being sneaky when he drinks from it when Connor’s not looking. 

“... Papa, you're good to drive, right?” he asks. 

“No, Shaun drove,” Norman admits. Connor sighs weakly as the three of them have nothing to say. Connor can't even talk about why they're there. 

His son is just missing from earth- he hasn't died. 

Shaun takes him drinking that night. He knows he's going to do it anyways, but he wants to keep an eye on him to make sure he doesn't get alcohol poisoning. Shaun’s not a big drinker, but he participates anyways. 

He has a baby on the way. He says he knows the day of the funeral of his younger brother’s son isn't the best time to say something, but he's freaking out. 

Connor nods. 

Things get worse. Gavin leaves him. He packs his bags and leaves. He requests to not work with Connor at all at the office. Connor wants to be heartbroken, but he saw it coming. It's just another thing to happen to him. 

Norman stays with him. He sleeps in the bed with Connor to make sure he knows someone else is there for him. Ethan’s at home taking care of the cats. 

It's hard to be in the apartment. Everything reminds him of Chris and Gavin, but he doesn't want to leave it. They compromise and box up everything.

The longer Norman stays, the more he notices. The alcohol is disappearing, and so are his cigarettes. Connor can't be good to be around. He's even making his dad self destruct. 

“They're really bad for you,” Norman reminds him. He smells like smoke. 

“I know,” Connor says as he lights another one. 

Ethan eventually comes to pick up Norman. His eyesight is going, and Ethan doesn't trust him to travel alone because of it. He searches his husband’s pockets before he walks outside, and he hands Connor a pack of cigarettes. Connor doesn't know how they've stayed together so long. They go through all this shit, and they never talk about leaving. He's never seen a couple like them… Issue after issue, and they're still in love. 

“I do have a present for you,” Ethan says, holding onto Norman’s hand to keep him from wandering. He knows he's a little drunk. “Go to the car.” 

Connor sighs and heads to the car as instructed. The engine's still running, which isn’t typical of Ethan. He usually turns it off even for a quick stop.

“The back seat!” he shouts. 

Connor opens the door, being greeted by a slobbery tongue on his hand. His eyes widen as he looks at what was in front of him. It's a Great Dane puppy, it must not be older than six months. He's crying again as the puppy wagged its tail. 

“Hi, buddy,” he whispers as he rubs his hands underneath its collar. The dog paws at his arm as he scratched it, drooling on his arm. Connor leans forward, burying his face against the dog’s large forehead. The dog licks his cheek after he closes his eyes. 

Norman sneezes behind him, and Ethan places his hand on Connor’s back. He rubs it gently. 

“I didn't want you to be alone. I don't want you to think of her as a replacement, but… just think of her as a friend. A much needed friend.” 

Connor pulls away from the dog as Ethan picks up the leash. He attaches it to her collar before handing the leash to Connor. 

“I love you,” he says, pulling him into a tight squeeze. Connor hugs him back, holding onto the dog. “Call us if you need us to come back again, okay?” 

He nods and kisses his parents on the cheeks. Norman’s sniffling, and he knows it’s not just because of the dog.

He watches them get into the car, sighing as he sees Ethan kiss Norman. Norman kisses back briefly before pulling away, waving goodbye to Connor. Connor knows he'll call him the moment he gets home. 

He gets the dog into his home, watching as she sniffs around. She's a well behaved puppy. He knows she's probably a rescue, but he doesn't want to hear the details yet. His heart's going to break at any negative news. He reminds himself that right now, she seems happy. He sits on the floor with her and turns on the television. It's just a sitcom to keep the noise going. 

She's laying on top of him. She's floppy. She kicks something from under the couch, and it hits Connor. He picks it up, and his face falls at the item he's holding. One of Chris’ bouncy balls. 

He sets it down on the couch and hugs the dog closer, burying his face in her fur as he lets out his tears. 

He names her Sunshine. It was Norman’s idea. She's all black with speckles of white on her front paws, but it fits her. She's the only one around him who's able to look at him and seem so overjoyed. Everyone else has that layer of sadness over them- like they pity him at every given moment. 

He moves to a small house on the other side of the city. It's actually smaller than the apartment. He just can't bare to even look at Chris’ door. 

His parent's take everything that Chris had in his room to their house to keep in storage. Connor keeps a few things out. One of his airplanes, a pair of his shoes, and a collection of photographs. 

Gavin’s stuff gets dumped in front of his new place. 

Connor finally sees the results of the investigation of his son’s death. He spends the night staring at it behind a bottle of scotch. 

The news of Shaun’s new baby brings bittersweet happiness to Norman and Ethan. Connor wants to be happy for him, but it takes him a while to visit. 

He finally makes the trip down to California. The family next door’s watching his dog for him. He's worried, but his gut tells him it'll be okay. 

Shaun has an android to help take care of the baby. In the short time they've been manufactured, they've come to so many homes. Shaun makes a decent living, so of course he could afford an android, but Connor wonders how much of his life would be different if he had an android for Chris. 

Would he still be around? They probably would have been able to help when he was sick. Maybe they would have never had to be in the car. 

Both Shaun and his wife are extremely excited over the baby. Connor can remember how he feels. It feels like you have hope. It feels like you finally did something right in life. 

She's a cute baby. Her name’s Lily. Connor holds her, and she reaches out to grab a lock of his hair. 

“I need a haircut,” he says softly. Shaun laughs softly, but he looks worried. 

“How are you holding up?” he asks softly, watching carefully as Connor held Lily. 

Connor purses his lips before looking down at Shaun. He feels jittery. He doesn't want to answer, but he knows Shaun knows exactly how he feels. 

“It's almost been six months, and it only gets harder,” he tells him softly. He looks down at Lily, and all he can think of is Chris. That smile… He remembers sticking his tongue out to Chris, and the way his son would giggle. 

He hands Lily back to Shaun. He takes his daughter, quiet as Connor taps his foot on the ground. 

“She's cute,” he says quietly. “She looks like you. The good things.” 

“Thanks,” Shaun says softly. “I'm glad you came.” 

“Yeah,” Connor says. He smiles with uncertainty. “You don't mind if I go and drink myself to death?” he asks. 

“I'll go accompany you to make sure you don't die,” Shaun says as his wife comes back to take their daughter. 

The bar’s dark and empty. It's only four o’clock, so of course they're the only ones there. Connor’s on his fourth shot when Shaun’s only drinking a club soda. 

“You gotta slow down,” Shaun says softly. 

“Another bad thing about this,” Connor interrupts, “In college, I'd get shit-faced after three shots. Now, I'm just buzzed after this many.” 

“You drink too much,” his brother says softly. “It's not healthy.” 

“That's the point,” Connor says with a smile. It’d be great to just stop existing, he thinks. Shaun would argue with him. “Just… what do I have anymore?” 

“Sunshine,” Shaun says. 

Connor grins bitterly. “Already regretting that name,” he says. 

“You just need to… move on,” Shaun says carefully. It hits a nerve. Connor looks away from him, grinding his teeth. 

“Fuck you,” he whispers. He wants to tell him he doesn't understand. He wants to tells him he's crazy, but he knows it's not true. 

“Have you talked to dad about this?” Shaun asks softly. 

“No, not to Ethan,” Connor admits. 

“Why…?” Shaun asks hesitantly. 

“I'm scared to,” Connor tells him. “He… I… don't want to see the look in his eyes. The look in his eyes whenever someone even brings up Jason- I… can't handle it.” 

“That's what I'm seeing in you right now,” Shaun tells him softly. Connor doesn't know how to respond to him. 

When he comes home, Sunshine’s perched at the window to see him. He smiles as he unlocks the door. He feels like shit physically and mentally, but it's nice to see something so excited to see him. The past few months, people have been crossing the street to avoid him. 

She's ten months old now, and she's nearly three feet tall when she's standing on four feet. It means he can't keep anything on the counter, but she's been worth the destruction. 

He sits down with her, opening a bottle of gin. He kisses her forehead before he starts drinking from the bottle. 

He's starting to slack at his job. The first few months were excusable, but now the higher ups are getting impatient. Gavin's right back at the job, but Connor knows it's because of his fucking anger management. He feels bad for the people Gavin’s arresting. 

He gets called in one day. It's almost been a year since he lost Chris. 

“You let a suspect go,” Fowler scolds him. Connor looks away, tapping his foot impatiently. He's biting his nails, tearing the skin. He knows he shouldn't do it in front of higher ups, but he actually can't stop himself. His head’s pounding, and he wants away. 

“I know,” he says softly. 

“Why?” Fowler asks. Connor knows the tone. He's soft now, until he gets an answer. He pretends to be understanding. He's your friend until you admit your fault. 

Connor looks at him. Fowler’s brow furrows and his lips form a frown. He knows his brown eyes have looked dead since the loss of his child. “I don't know,” he says coldly. 

Fowler throws his hands in the air before leaning back against the chair. “Jayden, if you don't fix this behavior, I'm going to have to suspend you.” 

Connor falls silent. There's nothing he can say. He nods and heads for the door, leaving his office.

He finally talks to Gavin for the first time since he left. It's been a year and two months. They've avoided each other like wildfire, and no one at the department dared to have them speak. They've seen each other nearly everyday, but neither of them said a damn word. 

They're alone in the break room. Connor’s in a bad mood, worse than usual. The coffee won't brew, and he doesn't think he can handle another moment with some sort of drug in his body. 

Gavin sneezes and Connor’s eyes shoot over to him. Finally, they speak. 

“What?” Gavin asks. He looks about as bad as Connor does. They've both probably been getting an average of eight hours of sleep a week. He's sitting on the table with coffee in his hands. It infuriates Connor. 

“Don't fucking give me ‘what',” Connor says. “You know exactly what's up.” 

“Oh? What's up?” Gavin replies. “You wanna know what's up?” He stands up, and Connor steps forward defensively. He looks down at him, clenching his fists. “You fucking killed my son!” 

“I did not fucking kill our son!” Connor shouts back. “Maybe it was you! Maybe he wasn't sick! Maybe we didn't even need to fucking drive! Maybe we'd still have him if you weren't a fucking paranoid moron!” 

Gavin points a finger at him, resting it on his chest as he snarls up at him. “You drive like a fucking maniac!” he shouts back. 

“Oh!” Connor gasps, pretending to be shocked. “Because you drive perfectly! Fuck you, Gavin!” 

Gavin steps back, looking up at him with such rage Connor feels it could boil water. He wants him to keep looking at him like that. He doesn't want him to be happy. 

“I can't believe you blame me for his death still,” Connor says through gritted teeth. “I wish it was you. I wish you were dead, and I could still have my son!” 

“You're a fucking idiot!” Gavin screams. Connor hears people walking towards the door, but no one enters. 

“You left me when I needed you most!” Connor yells, stepping closer to him. “You don't even tell me! You just fucking walk out like a fucking pussy!” 

His chest burns. His breath is short as he looks down. Gavin chucked the coffee at his shirt. He snarls at him before shoving him against the table hard enough to knock the table over. 

They're both suspended for a month. 

Ethan stays with him when he's out of work. Norman stays at home, which is unusual. He says the two of them really need time alone. 

“Papa doesn't normally pass up a chance to see me,” he says as Ethan hands him a mug with hot tea. Ethan won't let him drink. He's a recovering alcoholic. Shaun’s the only one in the family that hasn't abused drugs. 

“It was hard for him,” Ethan says as he sits beside Connor on the couch. 

He's not alone with Ethan very often. He does this intentionally. He can't handle it. 

“Connor,” Ethan sighs, setting his mug on the coffee table. There's a documentary on the television, but it's not engaging. He looks over at his father. “You need to go to therapy.” 

“No,” Connor says bitterly, his brows furrowing. Everyone tells him this. “They're just going to tell me it takes time to heal. They're going to tell me I need to move on.” 

“You do…” Ethan sighs. 

Connor looks up at the ceiling. He doesn't want to cry again. He cries too much. 

“I don't want to move on,” he whispers. “I want Chris back…” 

Ethan's quiet. He leans against the couch, but his eyes stay on his son. 

“Do you ever… feel better?” Connor whispers. 

“No,” Ethan tells him. “You just… find something else to cling to, and you move on.” 

“At least you had Shaun,” Connor says stubbornly. He immediately feels bad for his comment, but Ethan seems unphased. His father must have planned every single thing that could be said. “I have… nothing. Even fucking Gavin left me.” 

“You have Sunshine,” Ethan says. Connor hates that name at that moment, but he clicks his tongue and puts his hand out. She licks his hand before he runs it down her long ears. “Don't forget you have her.” 

“I love her, but it's not the same,” he says. 

“It'll never be the same. Nothing ever will be,” Ethan replies. “You can have another kid. You can find a husband. It never goes back to how it was. You'll never forget Chris. You just need to keep living for him.” 

Connor finally starts attending therapy, but he continues with his self medication. He still wishes he were dead, but at least now there's someone who's being paid to listen to him say it. 

Norman ends up visiting again. He holds him as they rewatch Star Trek. Connor wishes he could go back to being in high school. It sucked, but it was better than his life was now. 

Work’s never the same. He's getting cases no one expects him to solve. He's pretty sure the only reason he's not fired is so he doesn't kill himself. 

Shaun keeps telling him to get an android to take care of himself. Connor can't stand the thought of having an android in his house.

“An android killed my son,” he tells him. 

He finds ways to avoid interactions with androids. He can't look at them and not think of his son. The stupid fucking LED light gives him a headache. 

He's drinking vodka when an android walks into the bar. He grimaces and brings the glass to his face, trying to hide. 

The android’s tall and easy to notice. He's a detective model, so Connor knows he's looking for him. 

The facial scan works even when Connor avoiding his gaze. He walks over to him, setting a hand on the counter. His words are gruff. 

“Lieutenant Connor Jayden-Mars?” he asks. 

Connor stays quiet. He looks over at it finally. It's big, and it's taller than he is. It has silver hair, cropped and short, and a beard to match. He's never seen an android with a beard, but there's a first for everything. 

“If you got white hair, you might as well have wrinkles,” he comments. 

“Would that make you more willing to listen to me?” the android asks. He sounds annoyed. 

“Sure,” Connor says. 

The next time he looks at him, he looks much older. It makes him giggle, and he's pretty sure it's just because he's drunk. 

“What do you want?” he asks. He knows everyone's staring at them. 

“There's a crime scene that needs to be investigated. I was told I needed to come and get you.” 

“I really don't want to go,” he mutters into his drink. “Not with you, tin can.” 

The android groans and takes his drink. He spills it on the ground, making direct eye contact with Connor while he did it. Connor’s teeth are gritting as he watches the android. He wants to be furious, but part of him is surprised. 

Androids have personality, suddenly? 

The android’s named Hank. He's gruff, and he always seems exhausted. Every possibility sounds like a chore when he explains it. 

“Do you think I'm too stupid to get it?” Connor asks him one day when he visits him at the office. They're assigned together. Connor doesn't know a single thing about androids, except that he doesn't want to look at them. Now he's supposed to work with one to solve the case of deviancy. 

“Yeah,” Hank replies. Connor should be angry, but part of him wants to smile. 

Hank’s oddly protective of him.

He breaks through his fucking window when he sees Connor unconscious on the ground. He sobers him up in the shower, leaning down to tend to the soaking wet man in front of him. This isn't as bad as being slapped awake, he realizes. 

“This better not go on some DVD where I take my soaking wet top off,” Connor mutters drowsily as Hank checks to see how he's doing. 

“No one would watch that,” Hank jokes. Connor’s shocked that he laughs. 

Hank leaves to find him clothes while Connor throws up in the in toilet. He hates throwing up- it reminds him of when Norman relapsed when he was eleven. He remembers being terrified without having a clue of what was happening. He remembers how angry Ethan was. 

He hates that he's no better than his parents. 

Hank comes back to hand him the clothes. It's a grey button up shirt with a leopard print tie and suspenders. He leaves Connor to change. 

Connor can do everything but the tie. His head's pounding like crazy, but he knows he has to go with Hank. 

“Come in here,” he shouts. 

Hank shows up, letting out a sigh as Connor sits on the sink, trying to tie his tie. 

“I'm shaking too badly. Can you do it for me?” he asks. The android nods and begins to go through the motions. 

Connor’s still drunk. He's not going to sober up for a while. 

He decides to ask. 

“Am I repulsive?” he asks. 

“No,” Hank answers. “You're a smart kid. I know you graduated top of your class. You know you're not repulsive.” 

Hank drives when they leave. 

They fail their mission. 

Apprehend the Tracis, and Hank can't do it. 

Connor finds himself relieved. He can't believe Hank spared the life of two androids. 

But why were two androids spared when his son was gone? What made them more important to the universe than his son? If everything happened with reason, why was his son taken from him? 

It wasn't Hank’s fault his son was gone. He wasn't even around then. 

Connor drove to the park he took Chris when they were finished. He didn't know why. Sometimes, he just did it. 

“Why didn't you shoot?!” he asked angrily. 

“Why are you drinking again?” Hank countered. Connor wanted to shut him up. 

“You could have killed them. Why didn't you?” Connor asks again, looking up at him from the bench. “We don't have any information for our mission- and now two deviants are free!”

“I didn't want to,” Hank answers calmly. 

“... Want to?” Connor asks, gasping. “Androids suddenly have want?” 

He pulls a gun out, putting it on Hank’s forehead. 

“How would you feel about it if I killed you right here?” he asked. “Are you gonna feel? Do you want me to set the gun down?” 

“You wouldn't kill me,” Hank replies, stepping closer to the gun. “You don't have the eyes of a killer.” 

“I've killed,” Connor says as his eyes begin to water again. “I've killed, Hank. And I could easily kill again, you know.” 

“You wouldn't,” Hank says as Connor lowers the gun. He sinks back into the bench, and Hank sits beside him. 

“Did you bring Chris here?” Hank asks. 

Connor’s heart sinks. “How did you-” 

“You had a photo of him out,” Hank answers. Connor wants to curse himself, of course he would know that from just a photo. 

“Yes,” Connor whispers. 

“I found pills in your hand when I woke you up earlier. You would have been dead before I got to you if you would have taken them. Is this something you do often?” he asks him. 

“Yes,” Connor says, hanging his head. The only reason he didn't do was because he passed out before he could have. 

“Sunshine would have been devastated,” Hank says, making Connor frown. He's just a fucking android, but he can analyze his situation so well. He wants him to stop prying into his life. Stop making him feel bad. 

Connor calls Norman later in the morning. He's explaining deviancy to his father, but Norman has a better idea of what it is than he does. 

“You do realize that you're finally working with Data,” Norman jokes on the phone. “You always wanted to be his friend.” 

“You make me sound lame,” Connor says softly. 

“You were kind of lame, but it's okay because I adore you,” Norman tells him. 

Connor wants to hate Hank. He wants to grab him and blame him for what happened to Chris, but he knows he's not responsible. 

He knows it's not the fault of the androids. 

Something about Hank makes him want to be around him though. Maybe it was the gruff honesty. He never tries to baby him, he never tries to hide his opinion from him. 

Or maybe it was just the appearance. Connor knows that the wrinkles were a ‘joke', but he finds them more attractive than he ever found Gavin. 

Hank sacrifices himself to save Connor when they were investigating the television station. An android goes livid and shoots down a hallway- the only casualty is Hank. It would have been him if he wouldn't have done that. 

Connor holds him, and he cries. He fucking cries over the life of a soulless robot. Everyone leaves him alone as he holds Hank’s body, his head buried in his shoulder. Thirium temporarily stains his shirt. 

He feels like he lost something important to him again. 

It's not true, he realizes. Hank's waiting for him in front of Kamski’s house. Connor hugs him, startling the android. 

“Are you doing okay?” he asks. 

No, Connor thinks. 

A female android brings them to Elijah. Connor’s tense when he sees him. The last time he saw him was the funeral. 

He's so carefree. He's so relaxed. 

“It's good to see you're still around,” he says to Connor. Hank must not know what he's talking about. He probably never analyzed any further details on Chris. 

Connor’s furious when Elijah tells Hank to shoot Chloe. How can he be so carefree with the life of… living things. 

Connor can't do this. He can't keep on trying to terminate the existence of living beings. 

He heads towards the door, and Hank hands the gun back to Elijah. They're quiet as they walk to the car. They don't say a word until Connor’s hands on the door handle. 

“You keep saying you'll do anything to complete your mission, but you won't take the life of an android,” he breathes, turning to look at the taller being. 

“I saw the way you looked at her,” Hank admits. “You looked scared. It… made me scared to hurt you.” 

Connor looks away from him. He closes his eyes. 

“Are you deviant?” he asks as he leans against the roof of his car. 

“No,” Hank says. 

Connor knows something's off. It isn't until he's at the rooftop with Hank he knows what it is. 

They never made it to Jericho. Connor’s feelings got the best of him when they had the chance. He saw Gavin approaching Hank, and he just couldn't fucking handle it. Hank was shot in the crossfires of Connor trying to keep them apart. 

Connor hates how he just comes back. It's not like real life. Now he's watching as Hank points a sniper rifle at Markus- the only hope for androids. 

“Do you really want to do this?” Connor asks, approaching him from behind. 

Hank twitches. 

“He needs to be stopped.” 

“Hank, is this what you want?” Connor asks desperately. 

“Don't interrupt me,” Hank argues, but Connor can't let that happen. He runs to grab the gun, only to be pushed back from Hank. He falls to the ground, and he notices Hank’s LED changes to red. The gun’s pointed on him. 

“Please, don't,” Connor says, forcing himself to his feet. He's not scared to die. If Hank decides to shoot him, he’d welcome it. “Hank, please. Give it up. Let them have this.” 

“That's the opposite of what you used to tell me,” Hank scoffs. 

“Please,” Connor begs, approaching him slowly. Hank steps back, but Connor only takes another step closer. “They're living beings. You're a living being! We're on the wrong side of history… Don't kill Markus…” 

“An android killed your son,” Hank grunts. Connor feels like a bullet went through his heart. “He failed to operate on him after a truck hit you during a snowstorm.”

“A human killed Chris!” Connor shouts back. “He was too high on red ice to operate! Androids only knew so much then- there wasn't much it could do! It was the human doctor’s fault!” 

His shoulders drop. He's never admitted that out loud. He's just tried to drink away the incident report. 

Hank’s face falls. The LED goes from red to yellow, but it's soon back to red. 

“What are you saying?” 

“I'm saying I want you to drop your mission,” Connor says quietly. “... Disobey. You're so much more than that.”

“Why?” Hank asks calmly, lowering the gun. Connor takes another step forward. 

His mouth is dry, but he knows how he feels. He knows there's a reason he was paired up with Hank to begin with. Hank is more human than he is, sometimes. He's also the only person who can look at him without pity in his eyes. In some twisted way, they see each other as equals. 

“Because I love you,” he admits to him. 

The gun drops to the ground. 

“I want you to be able to have a future with me, even if it's selfish. I want to be selfish, and I want to be with you, Hank.” 

His arms tighten around Hank as the android hugs him. He feels small when he kisses him, but it's the first time in years Connor was glad he wasn't dead. 

It's hard explaining to his parents why there's an android living with him. Especially the fact that he doesn't look much younger than them. 

Ethan can't say much. He's too thrown off. Norman says something when the two of them are alone, a smile on his face. 

“It's good, y’know? No human is good enough for my son. You found a loophole around it.”


End file.
